Wife: ‘What are you doing?’

Husband: Nothing.

Wife: ‘Nothing…? You’ve been reading our marriage certificate for an hour.’

Husband: ‘I was looking for the expiry date.’

———— ——— ——— –

Wife : ‘Do you want dinner?’

Husband: ‘Sure! What are my choices?’

Wife: ‘Yes or no.’

———— ——— ——— –

Wife: ‘You always carry my photo in your wallet. Why?’

Hubby: ‘When there is a problem, no matter how great, I look at your picture and the problem disappears.’

Wife: ‘You see how miraculous and powerful I am for you?’

Hubby: ‘Yes! I see your picture and ask myself what other problem can there be greater than this one?’

———— ——— ——— ———— ——— —–

Stress Reliever Girl: ‘When we get married, I want to share all your worries, troubles and lighten your burden.’

Boy: ‘It’s very kind of you, darling, but I don’t have any worries or troubles.’

Girl: ‘Well that’s because we aren’t married yet.’

———— ——— ———

Son: ‘ Mum, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady.’

Mom: ‘Well, you have done the right thing.’

Son: ‘But mum, I was sitting on daddy’s lap.’

____________ _________ _________ __

A newly married man asked his wife, ‘Would you have married me if my father hadn’t left me a fortune?’

‘Honey,’ the woman replied sweetly, ‘I’d have married you, NO MATTER WHO LEFT YOU A FORTUNE!’

———— ——— ——— ———— ——— —

Girl to her boyfriend: One kiss and I’ll be yours forever.

The guy replies: ‘Thanks for the early warning.’

———— ——— ——— –

A wife asked her husband: ‘What do you like most in me, my pretty face or my sexy body?’

He looked at her from head to toe and replied: ‘I like your sense of humor!’