The Crazy Ah Beng
Why did Kok Beng go to a movie with his 18 friends?
Because below 18 not allowed !
Kok Beng wants to buy a TV set. He goes to a shop.
Kok Beng : “Do you have color TV ?”
Salesgirl : “Yes !”
Kok Beng : “Give me a green one, please.”
Kok Beng is filling up an application form for a job. He supplied the information for the columns on Name, Age, Address etc. Then he comes to column on “Salary Expected”, but he is not sure of the question. After much thought, he writes “Yes”
Kok Beng goes to a store and sees a shiny object.
Kok Beng : “What is that shiny object ?”
Salesgirl : “That is a thermos flask.”
Kok Beng : “What does it do ?”
Salesgirl : “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
Kok Beng : “I’ll buy it”
The next day, Kok Beng goes to work with his thermos flask
Boss : “What is that shiny object ?”
Kok Beng : “It’s a thermos flask.”
Boss : “What does it do ?”
Kok Beng : “It keeps hot things hot and cold things cold”
Boss : “What do you have in it !?”
Kok Beng : “Two cups of coffee and one cup of ice cream”
After taking photocopies of documents, Kok Beng always compares it with the original for spelling mistakes.
Kok Beng always smiles during lightning storms because he thinks his picture is being taken.
Why can’t Kok Beng dial 911?
Because he can’t find the number 11 (eleven) on the phone.
Kok Beng had just bought a new computer and was using it. When he encountered some problems. He decide to use the ‘Help’ command after some tries. Soon after, he became very irritated and called the computer retailer for support.
Kok Beng : “I press the ‘F1’ key for help lah, but it’s been over half an hour and still nobody come and help me ?!”
Kok Beng with two red ears went to his doctor. The doctor asked him what had happened to his ears and he answered, “I was ironing a shirt and the phone ring – but instead of picking up the phone, I accidentally picked up the iron and stuck it to my ear”
“Oh dear !” the doctor exclaimed in disbelief.
“But …… what happened to the other ear ?”
Kok Beng answered : “That stupid dumbo called back !!!!”
Kok Beng talk to a long-distance telephone operator.
Kok Beng: “COULD YOU PLEASE
TELL ME THE TIME DIFFERENCE BETWEEN
Taipei AND LAS VEGAS ?” Operator: “JUST A MINUTE…”
Kok Beng : “THANK YOU ” AND PUTS DOWN THE PHONE.”
After completing a jigsaw puzzle he’d been working on for quite sometime, Kok Beng proudly shows off the finished puzzle to a friend.
“It took me ONLY 5 MONTHS TO DO IT”, Kok Beng brags.
“FIVE MONTHS? THAT’S TOO LONG”, the friend exclaims.
“YOU ARE A FOOL.” Kok Beng replies, “SEE THIS BOX, IT IS WRITTEN FOR 4-7 YRS.”
At a bar in New York , the man to Kok Beng’s left tells the bartender, “JOHNNIE WALKER, SINGLE” and his companion says, “JACK DANIELS, SINGLE”.
The bartender approaches Kok Beng and asks, “AND YOU, SIR ?”
Kok Beng replies : “Tan Kok Beng, MARRIED”