When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.
– David Bissonette

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can’t face each other, but still they stay together.
– Sacha Guitry

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you’ll be happy. If you get a bad one, you’ll become a philosopher.
– Socrates

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.
– Anonymous

The great question… which I have not been able to answer… is, ‘What does a woman want?
– Dumas

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.
– Sigmund Freud

Some people ask the secret of our long marriage.. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays.’
– Anonymous

‘There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage.’
– Sam Kinison

Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming
1. Whenever you’re wrong, admit it,
2. Whenever you’re right, shut up.
– Patrick Murra

The most effective way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once….
– Nash

You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to..
– Anonymous

My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met.
– Henny Youngman

A good wife always forgives her husband when she’s wrong.
– Rodney Dangerfield

A man inserted an ‘ad’ in the classifieds: ‘Wife wanted’. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said the same thing: ‘You can have mine.’
– Anonymous

First Guy (proudly): ‘My wife’s an angel!’
Second Guy: ‘You’re lucky, mine’s still alive.’
– Anonymous